Song of Songs – Part 1
Today we’re going to start our study of the book, the Song of Songs. For those who bring their Bibles, you’ll find it in the middle of the Bible – in the Old Testament. We’ll start with chapter one, verse one. Buckle your seatbelts – because this is going to get “racy.”
Let’s start with a word about the cast of characters. The central characters are a woman, who is called “the beloved” and a man, who is called “the lover.” Then there are friends of the woman. They are kind of a chorus. You might notice as you go through some versions of the Bible that there are captions letting you know who’s speaking. Those captions are not in the Hebrew text; they’re supplied by the interpreters to help us understand who is speaking at each point in the story.
Remember, this is a poetic book. And with all the poetic imaging thrown in, it’s sometimes hard to follow what’s going on. But, basically, there are three “movements” which help us follow the plotline of the story.
The first movement can be called anticipation. This runs from chapter 1, verse 1 through chapter 3, verse 5. As we read this section, we find a couple who are crazy in love with each other. They can’t wait to get together. They long for each other. But they’re not married yet, so they dream, fantasize, wait, and prepare for the big day!
The second movement, chapter 3, verse 6 and following, is a poetic, highly stylized description of a wedding. It’s a beautiful picture of commitment and covenant.
The third movement, chapter 5, verse 2, through the rest of the book, is a celebration of their love, romance, and the joy of covenantal sexual intimacy. It’s a great reminder that true romantic fulfillment begins on the wedding day, but certainly doesn’t end there!
Before we go on, let’s just say a few words about how to listen to this message.
Some of you here this morning are in marriages that are just terrific. Some may be in marriages that are quite painful. Some are here, but your spouse wouldn’t come to church with you. I’d like to request that if you’re married, you just ask this question as we walk through the text, “God, what do You have to say to me, as a spouse?” We all want to refrain from the temptation to think, “I wish that my spouse were here to hear these words.” Keep focused on what God has to say to you only.
And, again if you’re married, try to remember when your heart was most tender towards your spouse. Maybe it was at your wedding when you got married. Maybe it was at some other point in your relationship. But you remember what it was like to have a heart that’s tender.
Some here this morning are single, and it could be that marriage is a possibility for you. You want to ask God, “What do You have to teach me about the kind of marriage that would honor You and bring joy?” Maybe another question to ask is, “How can I support a married couple that I care about?”
Some here this morning have lost a spouse. You were married and your spouse died. Maybe part of what God wants to do with you is to share some moments of remembering, of saying “thank you”; and engaging in a combination of both grief over your loss, and being comforted by God.
For those who have walked through the pain of divorce, it may be that God wants to remind you of the tenderness and love that can exist between a man and a woman. God made this relationship to be “good” and wants us to remember the beauty of His perfect plan, even if our own experiences have not mirrored what God has in mind.
That’s just a word on how to listen as we go through this Scripture.
Let’s look at Solomon’s Song of Songs, verse 2. Just for the fun of it, let’s read the first phrase together. “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth …” (SS 1:2). This is a bold, introductory sentence. It’s a verse that I encourage Debbie to read quite often. This is not Leviticus. We’re in a whole different section of the Old Testament today.
Who’s talking here; the man or the woman? It’s not a trick question! “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth …” Who’s talking? The woman! Here’s why I point this out. We often think of the women of the Middle East , especially the ancient Middle East , as being quite prudish … with their veils and long robes. As we go through this poem, we’ll find that the woman has a level of desire and passion every bit as powerful as the man’s. And God is so pleased with this that He includes it in His holy Scripture.
In my childhood days, growing up in a Baptist church, I always heard the preacher say that this book was a kind of allegory of God’s love for the Church. Generally, people who say that have not read this book very closely. There is no indication for that view in the text at all.
Actually, it’s amazing to me that this book made “the cut” and was included in the Scripture; not because it’s not a great book … it is … but because it’s not like anything else in the Bible. It starts right out with kissing in the very first section and then really gets going! This is a raw, unabashed, uninhibited celebration of romance and sexual attraction and passion between a man and a woman. If we look at the text for what it is, there is no indication that this is an allegory about the Church, but an honest expression of love between two people.
Now, throughout Scripture we find many warnings, cautions and safeguards concerning the potential dangers of human sexuality when it is expressed outside a covenant relationship between a man and a woman. The Bible has many examples of what happens when people mishandle sexuality. Those are all important, and they bring a much needed balance to our understanding. But we won’t find any of that in this book. This book is a joyous celebration of the goodness of covenantal romance.
This book talks about a passion that is to be lived out in marriage and expressed in a way that honors God. But it is expressed with a directness and intensity that, frankly, is a little embarrassing. So, if, as we study this, I get a little sheepish and blush once or twice … be gentle with me. Okay? Back to the text.
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth--
for your love is more delightful than wine.
Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the maidens love you!
Take me away with you--let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers. (SS 1:2-4a)
Let’s stop there for a moment.
She says, “Your name is like perfume.” She’s captivated by his name. This happens with deep attraction. An honest moment here. Little confession. Women … how many of you ever liked a guy and tried writing your first name with his last name? Ever do that? One couple I did premarital counseling with … the guy confessed that he tried that a couple of times with the girls he liked. So, we’re kind of fascinated with the names of somebody we love.
But here, there’s more to it than just a fascination with a name, a label you get called. Throughout Scripture, a name, as many of you may know, generally refers to someone’s identity, reputation or character. So part of what this woman is saying, “His name is like a pleasing fragrance” … in other words, she is deeply drawn to the character of this man. He is a man of deep integrity and honesty and loyalty, and he can be trusted. We will find throughout the whole book this combination of tremendously powerful physical attraction and tremendously powerful attraction to the person’s character.
A little life application moment. There is a word here for every young person and every single person – whatever age. Be careful about whom you give your heart to. Be sure to examine their character closely and thoroughly. Be sure their name has a fragrance like perfume … and not manure. Some of the saddest stories you’ll ever hear involve people who develop a passionate attachment to someone with an untrustworthy character. Get to know their name … their character, their reputation … before you make any lasting commitments. And if you are married to someone with good name … celebrate! Tell them how grateful you are. Let them know how much it means to you. Okay?
We find out a little bit more about the identity of the man … again, this is the woman speaking.
Tell me, you whom I love, where you graze your flock
and where you rest your sheep at midday .
Why should I be like a veiled woman
beside the flocks of your friends? (SS 1:7)
She tells us that he is a shepherd of some kind. Probably not real wealthy, but as we saw in verse 4, he is a like a king to her, and she wants to be with him.
The “lover” answers his “beloved.”
If you do not know, most beautiful of women,
follow the tracks of the sheep
and graze your young goats
by the tents of the shepherds.
Then he goes on to say …
I liken you, my darling, to a mare
harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh. (SS 1:8,9)
Okay. Let’s fast forward to today. Say you’re getting married, and your fiancé talks you into going with her to pick out the wedding dress. Of course, if you agreed to that, that’s mistake number one. But you go along.
She gathers up a couple of dresses, goes into the changing room, and comes out twenty minutes later with the dress of her dreams on. She asks that loaded question, “Honey, how do I look?” You pause, reflect, and carefully answer, “You look like a horse!” Mistake number two!
Let’s face it, in our day calling your beloved a horse is not a compliment! Even if you clarified by adding that she looked like she was harnessed to Pharaoh’s chariot. But in those days, Pharaoh’s horses were prized above all others. They were beautiful, powerful, magnificent animals. The woman would have taken these words as a flattering compliment. All through this book we want to realize that the images that seem strange to us were understood, then, in a positive light.
Just a word of caution, guys. If you’re going to lift compliments out of this book, make sure you translate them into today’s images. Don’t refer to your lover as a horse … say she looks like a tricked-out Harley … or somethin’.
Moving on. We want to notice a striking feature. It’s what we might call “the delight factor” in their conversation; the delight factor in the conversation of a man and a woman who love each other. Behind their words is a deep desire to build each other up. They get quite creative in how they do this and the words they use. But these are the words of a generous heart. Each has a deep longing to build up the other and celebrate who they are and their love for each other.
And I want to ask, if you’re married, do you have a generous heart towards your spouse?
Back to the text. The beloved is speaking.
I am a rose of Sharon,
a lily of the valleys. (SS 2:1)
Now, at first blush, that sounds a little conceited, doesn’t it. “I’m a rose – I’m a lily – look at me!” But Old Testament scholars tell us that in those days a rose was not like what we think of in our day. It wasn’t something you’d pay big bucks for at the florist’s. Actually, it was a common flower, a type of crocus, not considered beautiful or expensive. And the lily? The lily was a plain, everyday blossom … the kind of flower that any shepherd could pick up, smell, then toss aside. So, in her day, the words she used were quite modest. She is saying in effect, “I’m not that attractive. I’m just kind of average.”
But notice … there’s a kind of playful aspect to the banter that’s going on here. It’s a game. She’s saying “Oh, honey … I’m just ordinary and plain … not beautiful at all.” But all along she’s giving him an opportunity to say that he sees her in a much different light! Ever play that game? Ladies … ever put on a dress or a pair of slacks, walk out to your husband, and ask, “Do you think this makes me look fat?” Nah … you would never do that! Now, when that game is overdone, it can be manipulative … like fishing for compliments. But when it’s honest, it can open the door for mutual expressions of blessing and affirmation.
Think about it this way. Men, imagine that you are on date with a really attractive woman. Go ahead, say her name. “I’m on a date with …..” Now, if you’re a husband, by this time you should have leaned over to your wife and said, “You are the most beautiful woman in the world … and I would never want to go on a date with anyone but you, Snookims.”
Okay … imagine you are with a really attractive woman who says to you, “I’m really quite plain … not very attractive … don’t you think?” It’s really a playful way of saying, “I’m open to your expressions of love. I really am. I’ll receive them. I’m interested.”
And the lover responds by saying, “Like a lily among thorns” – because every other woman is a thorn compared to you, and it causes me pain even to look at them – “Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.” (SS 2:2).
Another aspect of the relationship. “My darling” he calls her. It’s a pet name, among several, that he uses nine times in this book. She has a few pets name that she uses for him, as well. One contemporary psychologist notes that strong marriage relationships actually create what he calls a “culture of two.” A culture of two.
It’s expressed by things like special nicknames. He noted that the nicknames couples have for each other tend to come from one of three categories. Know what they are? Food, animals and body parts. Things like “sugar,” “honey,” “teddy bear.”
Or we’ll combine them with some real creative options like “sugar lips,” “honey bear,” “muffin ears,” … you get the idea.
Now, you’ll think I’m making this up. But C.S. Lewis writes about this in his book The Four Loves. Ever notice that some couples create a private love language that sounds like baby talk? Lewis notes that a scientist discovered that certain animals, including specific species of birds, do the same thing. They make infantile sounds normally made by young birds of their species when courting another bird. Lewis says the reason for this is because it’s the most tender language that we know. It expresses a tender heart. Some people use baby talk with their dogs. C.S. Lewis says this is really stupid! No, he didn’t say that. I said that!
Here’s a question for those who are married. Do you relate to your spouse with a generous heart or a stingy heart? Do you give sincere, authentic praise? Do you speak words that value and honor your spouse? Do you treasure secrets together – things that only the two of you hold and share? Do you build rituals into your lives? Do you create memories? Do you guard your culture of two? And if you’re single, and think marriage might be an option in your future, what would you like the culture of two to look like?
Okay … last section for the morning.
There is a classic phrase from the Song of Songs in chapter 2, verse 16. The woman says, “My lover is mine and I am his.” (SS 2:16) This is such an important declaration that it gets repeated almost verbatim in 6:3 and again in 7:10 . “My lover is mine and I am his.” To this day it is often used by Jewish brides at weddings. It’s a statement of possession. We belong to each other. This is not an unhealthy, controlling or jealous sense of belonging. This is an expression of the deep meaning of covenant.
Throughout the Old Testament we learned that God is deeply concerned about covenants. His covenant is, “I will be your God, and you will be My people.” In a similar way, the marriage covenant is, “My lover is mine and I am his.” When these words are pronounced between two human beings in marriage, they are saying, “There’s not much you can count on in this world. Your health may go south, your pension fund may collapse, your career may never look like what you hoped it would look like, and your appearance may change over the years, but you can count on one thing. As long as this heart is beating, it’s yours. I will not give my heart and body to anybody else in the way I give it to you.”
“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.”
Sometimes when a relationship is going through hard times, and they all will, the best you can say is, “I’m not going anywhere.” “I’m not going anywhere.” In a world where everything seems dispensable, we need to commit that our covenants mean something. When times are hard and we feel like giving up, we want to remember that promise we made to our spouse, before God and family and friends, and we say again, “No matter how hard things get, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not giving up on you. We are in this marriage covenant together. And with God’s help, we can make it. Yes, we can!”
Let’s pray.
God, I just want to thank and praise You for the wonder and delight of Your Word. In it we find life, we find eternal life, and we find the delights of love. Help us to speak to each other with tender hearts. Let us delight in each other. And give us the commitment and strength of character to live out the promises made in our covenants with each other.
And the people said, “Amen.”
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